Toxic Feminism Is Poisoning The Dating Pool In NYC
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💔 The NYC Dating Divide: Is 'Toxic Feminism' Poisoning the Pool?
The dating landscape in New York City has always been fiercely competitive, but a growing number of young men are voicing concerns that shifting gender dynamics—driven in part by what they term "toxic feminism"—are creating an increasingly untenable environment.
The core of the issue lies in a fundamental imbalance between economic reality and persistent social expectations. An NY Post article highlighted the hypocrisy with a couple of quotes from local New Yorkers:
To be taken seriously, many men need to pay for one or two dates as part of the dating process and it can get costly. “The dates keep getting more expensive,” said Benny Boas, a 31-year-old CEO of an educational tech startup who lives on the Upper East Side. “It takes me about $1,000 to realize I don’t really like somebody.”
On the other hand, women are unresponsive if a man tries to date using more affordable methods like a coffee date. “If someone asks me out for a coffee or a drink, it’s ‘no,’’’ said Kasey Karaisaridis, 26, an esthetician who lives in the Bronx. She recalled a dating guru telling her, “Even a homeless guy can buy you a cup of coffee.”
💼 The Economic Upswing for Women
A significant factor is the economic shift that has seen women successfully climb the corporate ladder in one of the world's most demanding job markets. The narrative suggests that in NYC, women have not just achieved parity, but in many high-paying sectors, they have "usurped" men, occupying a large share of the most lucrative positions.
This success has been amplified by recent work trends:
Remote Work's Unexpected Impact: The rise of remote work has allowed many mothers to maintain high-level careers that they might otherwise have had to pause or leave entirely due to the demands of child-rearing. This means an unprecedented number of women are both raising children and drawing a full-time, high-level salary.
The Creator Economy: Many women have jobs as influencers or content creators which insulates them from corporate layoffs and other economic factors that men must primarily deal with which can be especially difficult if they were recently laid off, are the head of a household, or has a partner with expensive taste.
The Gender Pay Gap: The Gen Z gender pay gap has reversed with young women earning more than young men – so what’s up with boys? The increase in young adult women's earnings relative to men's is largely driven by rising educational attainment among women, which translates to higher entry-level wages and better access to professional, higher-paying jobs traditionally dominated by men.
📉 The Economic Downturn for Men
Simultaneously, young men entering the workforce are facing a bleak economic picture, with the traditional paths to entry-level prosperity being dismantled:
Elimination of Entry-Level Roles: Entry-level positions that historically provided a crucial foothold into careers have been dramatically reduced, largely due to offshoring labor and the rapid adoption of Artificial Intelligence (AI) for routine tasks. This substantially increases competition among young men and women.
Suffering Young Men: This leaves young men with fewer opportunities to build the financial foundation necessary to compete in a city with astronomical living costs.
Impossibility of Cost: Paying for every date, especially when dating women who may earn significantly more, is simply not financially possible for many young men.
Insecurity and Silence: The deeply ingrained social pressure and associated feeling of insecurity prevent many men from asking women to split the bill or contribute equally, leading to resentment and financial strain. Many opt to not date at all and focus on their “side hustle” or whatever project or startup they may be working on as a substitution to having a 9 - 5 job.
💰 The Dating Dilemma: A Disconnect in Expectations
Despite this significant reversal in economic fortunes, the traditional expectations of dating have remained, leading to a majority of young men without the resources needed to sustain a relationship even if they are handsome or have other advantages going for them.
One anonymous source interviewed by The Empire City Wire described how, "While women have succeeded at greater rates than men, the expectation is that [men] still pay for everything on dates and in the relationship."
The result is a dating pool where traditional masculine roles (financial provider) are still demanded, even as the economic ability to fulfill them has been systemically eroded for an entire generation of men, leading to widespread frustration and a perception that the dating environment is fundamentally "poisoned."
